When I first heard that John Carlson would discuss the exit of Tom Delay on the 4/4/2006 edition of the John Carlson Show, my first emotion was one of regret. Not for Delay, but regret that I wasn't keeping track of John's statements a year ago when every conservative was singing the praises of good old Tom. I fully expected to hear John submit to reality and disown Delay as a bad guy who has done bad things. But that regret soon faded as I realized that John was going to closely adhere to the message of Delay's PR team.

CARLSON: I think Tom Delay has always seen himself as an asset to his party. That he is in congress not to make a buck but to make a difference. That he really believes in things bigger than himself. And that he realized, not by any one thing, but more the proverbial death of a thousand cuts, that he was no longer an asset and that he could be a liability to Republicans as they struggle to maintain a majority in the house of representatives.

You heard that right: Tom Delay is a selfless patriot.

Those three Delay aides that are facing criminal charges? They're totally unrelated to Delay's high ethical standards and excellent judge of character.

That his closest and dearest friend Jack Abramoff is facing 9 1/2 to 11 years in prison? That's just another anomaly in Delay's otherwise squeaky clean career.

That indictment for breaking campaign finance laws in Texas?

CARLSON: I think the indictments brought by Ronnie Earl, the partisan anti-Delay, anti-Republican DA are without merit and they aren't going to go anywhere.

John Carlson will truly go to any length to hold on to the official party line, even when that line is tied to a pig that's pulling him face-first through the mud.